Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
