I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
