how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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