I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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