If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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