i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Randomize
