i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
