oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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