I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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