i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
You're like the curious george of whores
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Randomize
