He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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