turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I believe in your delicious
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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