just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Randomize
