god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
People in love make me want to vomit
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
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