Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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