We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
