i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Randomize
