Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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