I wish my penis had an off switch
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
This is my gift to your gina
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Drunk is a universal language darling
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
