I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
