Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
