I hate your face
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
