id be glad to
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize
