She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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