Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
