??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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