susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Randomize
