we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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