I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
