tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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