Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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