Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
