He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
