It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
