Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
