he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
