so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Randomize
