i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
