States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
