Me. At least after what I've been through.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
