Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
