i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
