Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
