Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
