i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
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