I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
