I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
