My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Randomize
