I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
Randomize
