eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
wow bdsm is so cute
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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