Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
