i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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