I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
