What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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