She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
