She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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